Be My Escape
by David's Harp
Summary: She smiles at me and whispers those three words. Those that I’ve been longing to hear. Longing to loathe once more.


**Hola.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I also do not own "Be My Escape" by Relient K.**

**So, here it is, and I hope it satisfies. **

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_I've given up on giving up slowly, I'm blending in so you won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate  
_

I'm dying. I'm dying and she knows it. But does that stop her? Does that make her do anything different? No. She doesn't want me to die. She says she loves me.

…Right?

I don't think I can take much longer here. I'm blending into the walls. I hate this place. The Uchiha Compound.

_This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption because I know to live you must give your life away_

She walks in through the door. Time for my daily check-up. I scowl. But does she care I'm unhappy? No, she doesn't even consider the fact. If she's happy, then I must be happy. Yeah, right. She's happy too often for that.

But maybe this is my chance. I need to get out so badly. She's so happy. Too happy. She wouldn't mind if I bended her happiness toward my freedom, would she? No, of course not. Because she loves me.

…Right?

Well, that doesn't matter. Because I'm stuck here, when I'm supposed to be out there, putting my life on the line to kill my brother. I can't consider being happy, truly living, until after I've killed him.

_And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key_

Why do I doubt that she loves me? She told me over and over again that she would do anything for me. It just doesn't seem believable now. She doesn't seem to lie about things very often, but this must be one of those rare times. Because why would she ever love _me_? Does she still love me now? Why do I even care?

But she has the key to get me out. She's Tsunade's apprentice, right? She can talk to her. Release my chains. Why did they have to succeed in bringing me back?

Why did they _want_ to? I had knocked her out cold on the bench. I had nearly killed Naruto. Why then, would they still care for me? Why would she still love me? Because I know she must. She made a promise to. She loves me, even now.

…Right?

_And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me and even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going _

Anywhere. Anywhere but here. Because she's here. She's here and too close. Too close for comfort. My wounds are fine, thank you. She's invading my personal space and I want her out of it. If she doesn't leave soon, I might do something that I don't want to do. _She_ would like it. Because she loves me still.

…Right?

Well, it doesn't matter if she likes it or not. Because she's invading my space, and I want her even closer. No, I want her to go. I can't decide. Just take me anywhere but here. I don't care where one bit, I just want to be gone. The first chance I get.

_Because I gotta get outta here I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake_

Oh, hell no. I am not enjoying this. Don't even tell me I'm enjoying this, because you are wrong. Uchiha Sasuke does not enjoy massages. Even with her green healing chakra that puts the tenseness right out of my shoulders. Even if her hands are so soft. Even if she's doing this just for me. Because she loves me.

…Right?

No, I'm not enjoying this, and I want out of here. Because if I stay here, then this right here might just become an addiction.

_I gotta get outta here and I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape._

"Sakura. Save me. I'm dying in here. In this wretched place. Talk to Tsunade for me."

Those are the exact words I won't say to her. Because Uchihas don't beg. Because it's _Sakura. _My only reason for her to do it would be that she still loves me. Because she does.

…Right?

But even that might not convince her. Why? Because I would leave right after, and she knows it.

_I'm giving up on doing this alone now cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how_

I thought that I was too weak to kill Itachi alone. I had failed when I was a genin, and it put my confidence down. I thought I needed outside help. So first, I trained with Kakashi and the rest of our team. That didn't seem to work. They all didn't amount too much. Naruto couldn't do a damn thing right, and Sakura loved me too much. Hell, she even still loves me.

…Right?

Once I figured they were too weak for me, I went to Orochimaru. He trained me. And when I was done with everything he taught me, I disposed of him. He had nothing to offer. I was back to working alone. Until they came and ruined it all, of course.

_He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there  
_

He told me. He told me right out how to kill him. And I want to do just that. I tell her so. But she won't let me. She tells me that it's the wrong path to go down. She tells me that he's wrong. She tells me that I'll be just like him if I do what he wants me to.

They're all holding me back, and trapping me. They want me to be here, when I want to be there. They're doing all of this because they love me, they say. Especially Sakura. Except she loves me in the other sense, not just friendship love.

…Right?

_And this life sentence that I'm serving I admit that I'm every bit deserving  
_

Yes, I deserve to be locked up. I admit it. I left everyone and I almost killed my best friend. I even need much more punishment. I need to be _banished. _Sakura, can't you see that? I need to go away now, be banished, and chase my older brother. I tell her. She disagrees.

I know that she'll let me go eventually. Why? Because she loves me.

…Right?

Why won't she just banish me already? I prefer death to this. Kill me before you prevent me from my goal. Doesn't she understand? It's my life purpose.

_But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair_

She looks at me, tears in her eyes, and tells me that she will always forgive me. She envelops me in a hug, the tears starting to slowly trace down her cheeks. She's too close, and I love it. But what she doesn't tell me is that she loves me. She has no need to. I already know she does.

…Right?

Her grace is keeping me from going back to kill him. Her forgiveness is making life hard for me. What if I kill her? Then will they banish me? Will I finally be free?

_Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key_

I can't do that. She's still hugging me, and it feels way too good. Makes me want to forget it all, forget the clan massacre and the threat of my brother still alive. She holds the key to my happiness outside of killing Itachi.

If I just stayed here, would I be able to love her? When I'm with her, I feel different. It's a good kind of different though.

As she pulls back, opening her emerald eyes, my breath hitches the tiniest bit. Barely noticeable, but there. She had been crying again. Crying because she loves me.

…Right?

She's so beautiful as she cries.

_And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me and even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going _

I hate to make her cry. I've already done so too many times. But I resist wiping the tear from her cheek. Because I still have to escape. She won't change my mind, no matter how much she appeals to me. She'll understand. If she loves me (like I know she does) she'll know that I don't do the comforting thing.

…Right?

Is she okay?

_Because I gotta get outta here cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake  
_

No. No I didn't just wipe away her tear. It must have been a trick of the light. What is my hand doing? Stop it, you damn appendage. But her cheek is so soft. She smiles at me, a tiny smile reserved just for me. Because she loves me.

…Right?

Right. Because she wouldn't be smiling at me like that if she didn't. But more important, what am I doing? I can't get used to this. I'm too calm, too relaxed. My brother is out there. He's dangerous. I have a job to do.

But her cheek is so rosy and perfect.

_I gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape._

I have to get out and do it soon. Soon, it will too late to escape. And I need to go. To kill my brother. To avenge my clan. It doesn't matter that she's looking at me with so much emotion in her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

…Right?

_I am a hostage to my own humanity- self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made  
_

Oh shit. I've gotten too close. I've let my all-too human emotion take over. I showed too much of me. I need to find the mask. Where did I put it? I took it off and then… where did I leave the damn thing?

She's going to say it. She's going to say that she loves me. But she shouldn't… she can't. Because then I'd have to live with that for the rest of my life. I'd have to live knowing that she loved me, and never let me go. That is just too pathetic.

…Right?

_And all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with me but I can't ask You to give what You already gave _

I think of asking her to wait a while. Before she messes up out lives. Wait for me; wait until this whole thing is over. We can talk about it over, and maybe I'll let her see more of me without my mask. Where _is _that thing? She'll do it if she loves me.

…Right?

But I can't ask her to do that. She's waited so long already…

_Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key_

I'm still trapped. She holds they key to all the directions that I can take. She holds the key to freedom from this home. She holds the key to happiness apart from Itachi. And she holds they key to my heart. The one that allows her to turn the freezer inside off, and stop this burning.

She'd be happy to hold this key. Because she loves me.

…Right?

_And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me and even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
_

Do I really have to go? She seems to have rethought her confession. She won't do it at this moment. Once again, she pulls me into a hug. It hurts so good to be there. I need her, I must leave her, and I can't bear to see her upset. Because she's too strong for that.

…Right?

And she loves me, of course.

_I've gotta get outta here I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
_

I am enjoying this way too much. She needs to get away, except now it's too late. I need her, and am truly hooked. Now it's going to be difficult to leave her again. But I have to. But I can't. But I must. It doesn't matter a bit that she loves me.

…Right?

_Wrong._ So completely wrong. I need to stop lying to myself.

_I've gotta get outta here _

_And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging you to be my escape.  
_

She's fighting the urge to tell me. She tenses, and hesitantly draws away. No time like the present, right?

I have to go NOW. She needs to be my escape, to Itachi.

_I fought You for so long_

She looks up at me slowly and tentatively puts her hand on my cheek.

_I should have let You in_

She smiles at me and whispers those three words. Those that I've been longing to hear. Longing to loathe once more. _I love you._

_Oh how we regret those things we do_

She was going to regret that when I left. When I left her. When I left Konoha. Why did I ever want to do that again?

_And all I was trying to do was save my own skin_

I needed to avenge my clan. I needed to stay unemotional. I had to keep up my reputation. That was why I drew away. What was her excuse? Her excuse for not telling me sooner? Telling me sooner so I could pull away?

_But so were You _

I realize it now. She had her own reputation. She was a strong kunoichi. She was over me. But she wasn't. Of course I knew this all along.

_(So were You)_

Maybe… just one soft kiss…

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